Navigating everyday life is often an easier task when you have a community of support in place, however, building that community does not come naturally or easily for most of us. Members of our community can come and go, sometimes they are life-long members and sometimes they are only around for specific situations. Part of building a community is recognizing who the members are, especially when they turn up in the most unexpected places.
An unexpected friend
There I was — 35,000 feet high above ground, locked in a metal tube, bouncing around amongst the clouds while gripping my armrests. My distressed facial expressions had become contorted, obviously exhibiting my fear. It was a plane flight from New York to California and we had hit some very strong turbulence.
A young woman seated next to me witnessed my anguish, and in silent response simply and without fanfare, opened her palm and invited me to take her hand – which I clutched onto like a lifeline and held tight until the jolting subsided.
For the past 4 hours of a 6-hour flight, we hadn't exchanged a word. But her gesture to quietly reach out to me translated into a small but very significant connection made by two complete strangers. Stiffly sitting there, holding hands, we rode through the thumps, bumps and dips in solidarity, wordlessly bonded by a feeling of mutual support - two people foreign to one another sharing a common experience in a time of need. That is a microcosm of ‘community.’
Transformational
Growing and developing those moments of connection and the accompanying feelings can be transformational. It’s a feeling of never being alone, of being supported by deep-rooted connections and relationships that we have nurtured and nourished over time. There is nothing like it.
Orson Scott Card once said, “Every person is defined by the communities she belongs to.” So how do you intentionally start forming your own community during these unprecedented times?
In these days when we are experiencing isolation, fear of contact with others things can be confusing, sad and scary. Here are a few ideas to keep you connected so when this extraordinary time in our lives passes – we can go forward with renewed compassion, love and caring for each other. Each one of us will have been transformed by these experiences in some way. During cold weather some of us will feel more isolated as we go indoors with little access to being with others outside and distanced. What can you do to remain connected for the months ahead?
Start with a few easy steps
Take a moment and do a checklist of what you need in place to keep you from feeling alone.
Who is your COVID community of support? Make a list of those you count on, so in those moments when you might feel alone – you know it’s not the reality – but just feels that way.
Create a COVID pod. Just a few people you make a pact with to take the same precautions with the same level of care as you, to keep safe.
How much time are you intentionally reaching out to others outside of your immediate circle? Keep up with your friends who are not on your support list, but with whom you want to maintain a relationship when we can all be together again.
Choose to let relationships go that don’t feel right anymore. A perfect time with no apologies necessary – just let them fade away. If there is ever a time to realize the value of time and the joys of life it is now, don’t waste it on toxic people.
Practice self-care and self-compassion; take care of yourself so you can give the same to those around you. Acknowledge that these are extraordinary times and everyone is suffering in ways we may not even know.
Researchers have studied how the correlation between community and strong relationships has an important and positive impact on our mental state and our well-being. Sharing our stories, our fears and our successes with others can create trust, especially during our current times, form a bond and provide a structure that lays an emotional foundation during the good and challenging times in our lives.
Connect, Live and Thrive!
Rosalind