Multiple studies confirm that we derive the most out of life when we live in gratitude and with appreciation for the things we have. Spending time in nature as well as living in community with friends and family has been determined to extend our life expectancy. These are primal needs, not just “nice to have”. We know this, but we still get sucked into the materialism vortex that is all consuming and distracts us from what we know matters and which ultimately has a negative affect on our health. We often feel the need to surround ourselves with something new which unconsciously or consciously often compensates for the feelings of sadness, loneliness or lack of meaning in our lives.
I want to talk about this “stuff”, because it’s been on my mind as I am clearing out years of my own amassment. This is not new, but it is now affecting my life and being recently divorced I have moved beyond the “family” home of my children’s childhood into an environment that cannot contain all my “treasures”. How come no one told me that you spend half of your life accumulating stuff - and the second half getting rid of it.
I now see everything through the lens of “is this a garage item” what I mean by that is - will I want it in my home in 5 years or will I stick it in the garage waiting to see if my kids want it or just give it away or worse, send it off to landfill.
This lens provides me with clarity, makes me feel lighter and less burdened, allowing me to live more simply and enjoy everything I chose to keep.
I think It all starts when we are young. If we are fortunate enough to be able to buy or be gifted toys when we are kids, it definitely feels like more is better. As parents, we want to challenge and educate our children to be smart and high achieving - so “Baby Einstein” toys might seem like a great guarantee of success and a myriad of other toys that enhance their cognitive ability in addition to all the other colorful plastic items that occupy the playtime hours.. This loving trend continues throughout childhood, and so it becomes a learned behavior. Advertisers are relentless and AI just makes us a sitting target and the temptation to buy is ever more appealing.
To be clear, making a home for a family is grounding and there are periods in life when nesting and changing our environment is necessary. Kids leave home, relocations, upsizing or downsizing - life happens. But what we need and take with us is always a choice. The significant increase in home remodeling has been tracked and cited in numerous media articles and TV news since COVID-19 changed the way we live our lives. 1/10 Americans rent an offsite storage unit! When is enough enough? For each one of us that answer will be different, but we can all ask ourselves that same question and make intentional decisions about how we want our environment to be around us and be in touch with how it makes us feel. If we let things go does it mean we are letting go of future dreams, the possibility of reclaiming these pieces in a new home? I harken to the advice the father of a good friend gave her, “to increase thy possessions is to increase thy anxieties.”
Marie Kondo has written books and starred in a Netflix show sharing her method of decluttering and organizing and offers 3 key messages.
1. Keep the things you love
2. Have a place for what you have
3. Say thank you for the good times and goodbye to the things you no longer need or want.
This simple message provided me much needed clarity. I am not my stuff, I see people I love in some special things I own, memories are triggered by hand made and treasured items but after that a new perspective comes into play, it’s just stuff!
I am at a stage when I am choosing how I want to spend my time and it isn't clearing up and tidying out garages, which I confess to having spent more time than I care to think about. I want and choose to live everyday not to exist. That means that in everything I do it is with a sense of consciousness and living more simply makes me happy.
A few ideas that work for me for you to consider:
When you buy something - is there something else you should be letting go?
Leave an empty bag in your closet, and when you put something on and it doesn’t make you feel good - put it in the bag - when the bag is full, give it away and the clothes will have an opportunity for a new life in a new home for someone who might enjoy them.
As your children outgrow their toys, teach them the power of letting go by choosing one thing to give away to another child who doesn’t have as much.
Have a toy sharing agreement with friends - share you toys and rotate them between homes to keep them interesting and fresh.
Ask your kids, friends or anyone to whom you want to divest your “stuff” what they would want - you will be surprised at how much will be a “garage item”.
Periodically purge - don’t give this job to your kids or family who don’t want your stuff.
Make a date with a friend that you are grateful to have in your life.
Host potluck dinners and focus on your friends - just enjoy friendship to share life's experiences both good and bad and be a support for one another.
Go take a walk in nature and gain a new perspective while extending your life. 🍃