It feels like every time I think of writing there is something else I find causing me angst in the world that I feel the need to share…...so here is my latest.
I have an intense dislike for social media - the thing that promotes the highlight reels of people’s lives but not their real lives! How many posts have I seen of smiling faces and happy moments, but when speaking with the people who post them, they acknowledge that it was a terrible time, the kids were awful, they were fighting with their partner, but they did manage to capture a great shot of a happy family in the midst of it all!
Those are funny and temporary moments but there are others that are not. There are people who are really struggling in bad and abusive relationships, lonely, depressed and yet still feel the need to be seen and be present while putting a brave face to the world.
Are we relevant and do we exist if we don’t share ourselves, food that we eat, the progeny we spawned or the places we have traveled? It is a silly question, but at the same time there is some resonance in the idea that you are forgotten, out of touch, or professionally marginalized, if you are not “seen” in this era of self promotion.
I know so many people who share my feelings about it all but don’t say how much it makes them feel “ less than” diminished, missing out or depressed. From the teens and young adults who scroll through endless pictures of bikini clad (photo shopped) bodies, or the adventures and antics of groups of friends traveling the world together or the latest I heard, promotion of crypto currency opportunities, that make them feel left out or having missed the chance to make real money. It’s endless, because of how we think, our brains are primed to default to more negative emotions than positive and so the effort to create happy states takes more intention and priming.
Take the latest tragedy of the young social influencer recently found dead in Wyoming , She was traveling in a van with her boyfriend and posting copious amounts of Instagram pics and videos chronicling their amazing adventure. We learn subsequently that when the camera was off people witnessed arguments and a challenging relationship that was at times physical. Social media’s reality had no bearing on what was really going on.
“Facebook, which owns Instagram, has known for years that the photo sharing platform is harmful to the mental health of a significant percentage of young users, and particularly teen girls.”
Wall Street Journal 9/21/21
https://time.com/6097704/facebook-instagram-wall-street-journal/
The Wall Street Journal’s recent report on the “Facebook Files” about the company’s plans to develop an Instagram app for young kids, as well as their internal memos acknowledging that they are the cause of harm to so many kids prompted this post. People young and old are struggling and the social media pressure creates additional unbelievable and unmanageable stress.
I acknowledge that if you don’t like it don’t use it - but that is an oversimplified view that people espouse to demonstrate that we all have choices - it’s like the lawsuits blaming McDonald’s for making people fat - you have a choice. There’s no peer pressure to go to McDonald’s to be part of a crowd, a scene or be “cool.. So I dismiss that argument.
There are great things about it I admit. People have benefited from the connections that they have made, finding old friends and family, but the dark side looms large. Yael Eisenstadt from the Berggruen Institute, said something that made sense to me - for all the good that Facebook says it does, which has not been quantified, it does not make up for the damage it causes - which is quantifiable.
Thanks for letting me vent and for taking the time to read! If you want to keep this conversation going - just let me know. I will be removing myself from Facebook after I have downloaded all the quotes I posted on my @RosalindFranklinGroup page a few years ago that mean a lot to me. Then it’s sign out time as they make it hard to forever delete your profile, just to add insult to injury!
Check out the movies and make up your own mind
Social Dilemma
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7mqR_e2seeM
The Great Hack
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iX8GxLP1FHo